Choices- I choose to Keep on Smiling….
Well Gang I was in Wal-Mart today shopping. I was
picking up the list for my roommate. [Who I help care for.] I was minding my
business and trying to give a smile to everyone I pass. [Because you never know
who just needs a smile] Anyways, I was putting some sugar in my cart for some
Valentine’s Day baking when I felt a hand on my shoulder and someone pressed up
against me and my shopping cart. I turn to see this woman there. She looks at
me and says “Hun if you keep eating things with sugar in them you’re going to
keep getting bigger and bigger. You can’t afford to get any bigger.” [Imagine
how angry I am at this point. Also imagine how closed in I am feeling.] The
woman doesn’t move. She is still blocking me in. She still was pressed up
against my cart and me. I look and realize that everyone on the aisle was now
staring at me. I started to feel closed in. The more I saw people staring at me
the more I felt like everything was crushing in on me. I noticed I was now even
breathing more heavily. I realized I was also so pissed off I still couldn’t
say anything back to her. Ok now my hands were shaking. All I could think was RUN!
GET OUT OF HERE! I then started thinking people are going to think you’re
crazy! I tried took one step to walk away but she didn’t move. She asked me “Are
you still going to buy the sugar? You know it will keep making you fat!” [I
started counting in my head because I wanted to just let everything fly off the
handle at this woman. I wanted to chew her out!] I glared at this woman and
said “Move!” She moved some but not a lot and began to gripe “Well I hate it
when you try to help a fat person and this is the thanks you get and they don’t
listen.” [I’m really shaking now. I can’t get my mind to focus on anything but
the people staring at me and this rude woman in front of me. I just pushed my
cart so she had to move more out of the way. I tried to walked pass her but I
still needed more room. She sighed really big and loud! By this point I have no
control. I am shaking all over. I’m fighting back tears. I feel trapped and I
am having a panic attack in Wal-Mart. She said “Well don’t you have anything to
say?” and I smiled at her and said “I hope you have a blessed and magical day.”
[I have no idea where that came from. That’s what I begin and end my posts with
on Twitter and Facebook. Yet, I told it to this woman. Now she moved out of my
way and was walking fast away from me.] I walked on down the aisle and then
went into the baby area of Wal-Mart [which had no one in it] I stood there
calming myself down. I kept telling myself to breathe. It would be alright. I
was in a corner as far away from everyone as I could be talking to myself to
calm down. It took me ten minutes to calm down. I then went and finished my
shopping.
I’m glad I didn’t fly off the handle at this woman.
I don’t want people to see me and think I’m as bad as she was. Nor do I want to
spread the negative she was spreading. I’m glad I didn’t respond with more negativity.
I do wish I had stood up for myself better. I wish I hadn’t let this situation
cause me to have a panic attack. [And in public as well. I’m still upset with
myself for this.]
This situation does make me ask one question though,
Why do people feel they have a right to do this to other people? This isn’t the
first time something like this has ever happened to me. In fact, people have
made comments like this on many occasions. [I have had a lot worse than what
happened today.] This woman had no idea who I was, what I had experienced in my
life nor that I am already on the Journey of Change. I am already losing weight
and becoming a healthier person. All she saw was me add some sugar to my cart.
She assumed that was why I was fat. Wrong! Please everyone do me a favor and
stop and think before you say anything. Spread love and positivity. This world
has too much hate and negativity in it already. Don’t add to it. I also wonder
why we are so quick to judge everyone. None of us are perfect. We all have
issues, passed and mistakes that make us who we are. Since none of us are
perfect then we have no right to judge especially a snap judgment that was made
about me.
This woman had a chance to just keep on walking. She
didn’t have to spread negativity and hate. She didn’t have to be rude and mean.
She chose to be that way. My hope is that after reading this you will choose
differently. Spread positivity and love. Remember even just a smile can be what
a stranger needs to make it through the day.
If you’d like to read how my Journey began here’s
the link:
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