Saturday, May 30, 2015

Traveling


Traveling

This just makes me smile to think about. Not bad for a girl who use to have panic attacks so bad that she could hardly leave her house.

Well I got back Yesterday from picking up my roommate and one of my best friends from Temple TX. I enjoyed a wonderful visit with her daughter and granddaughter. I shared my concert experience with them. I loved getting to see Valleri [Judi’s daughter] enjoy the NKOTB concert. She has a rare form of Lupus that has all but completely killed her organs and her muscles. She spends most of her time at home. She would never be able to go to a concert again. So getting to share the NKOTB Dallas concert with her was wonderful. She was smiling and enjoyed her Mac and Cheese. I enjoyed being able to see her smile.

Now I’m unpacking Judi and then packing me in the same luggage. Busy day doing all the last minute stuff before I go on this vacation. My friend Nikki can’t drive due to her almost being blind. I drive her and her kids to Florida and I get a really cheap vacation. She’s my layaway plan she lets me pay my part in $10 a week payments. Plus due tome driving and my connections with Disney & Universal Studios it counted towards must of my payment. Got to love that. I’m blessed to get to go. [Trust me this girl who crashes at Judi’s and I’m barely making it knows how blessed she is to go on this vacation.]

I’m looking forward to seeing Sandra [my best friend since I was seven] and Rocky [biological father]. I get to do one day at the beach, one day at Magic Kingdom and see everyone. But this BH is looking forward to June 5th. I’m going to see NKOTB in Orlando. When we realized we would be there the same time they would my friend Nikki got me and her 16 daughter tickets to see NKOTB. [I made her daughter a BH on last year’s trip.] She is so excited to see JOE! We were talking about my Dallas experience and see said I can’t wait to be there and enjoying the moments. To be that close to them. I had to explain that our sits were far away. She looked so sad. Then she said the sweetest thing “So you can’t give Jon his thank you letter.” I thought how sweet she thought of me. She then said “We’ll have fun because we’ll be together at NKOTB.” [I love this kid]

So now I’m cutting even more corners and changing things I do around to come up with money to try and upgrade our tickets when we get to Orlando. [If that’s available.] Who knows maybe I’ll be able to give Jon his thank you letter. [Which I had to redo because it got at ripped the concert in Dallas. So I’m going to Hallmark and buying another card. Thankfully I have the letter I added to it saved on my computer.

To see where I began this journey


To Follow the Facebook account that goes with this blog:


To follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy

 

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Hats and Hugs..

Hats and Hugs…….

I’ve had some interesting conversation about hats and hugs lately. To be specific the hats I always wear on my head. It seems there is a lot to be said about my hats. I like to wear baseball caps. In fact I have several of them. I tend to wear the same ones though.
What brought up the conversation about hats is my pictures from Dallas #TheMainEvent NKOTB concert. I was blessed to have Donnie come dance & hug me during Remix. I’ve posted a lot of pictures of this moment. I’ve also taken my tablet with me everywhere and shown all of my friends and family. [Even people I really didn’t know that well.] My best friend since I was seven said “Of course you’re wearing a hat. You always have on a hat.” Rocky said “I hate the picture because like always you have on a hat & no one can see your face.” My mom said “You look so happy wish we could have seen more of your face.” Another friend commented “Well of course you’re wearing a damn hat. We can hardly see your face and eyes. Like always.”  Another comment “What’s with you and hats. You are always wearing one. At least this isn’t your lucky red hat.” Then a close male friend of mine said something that has stuck with me. “Marie, you are always saying the eyes are the window to the soul. You’re the one who says you can tell so much about a person by what is in their eyes. You put stock in reading people’s eyes yet you always have a hat on and pulled low. No one can read your eyes. It’s like your hats hide yourself. This picture was a moment of a lifetime and you still chose to hide your face. Why do you hide yourself behind hats? Do you wear them as protection?” I didn’t reply to him. I didn’t know how to reply. A few days later I asked him to explain his comments. He said “You told me you loved looking into Donnie’s eyes when he was in front of you. You loved seeing so much happiness and love there.” I agreed with him. He then said “In your blog about the concert you wrote “He moved my hat. It’s attached to my head that’s gonna hurt.” [I didn’t realize I had wrote it that way.] He said “Watch the clip of the concert again closely. When Donnie tried to remove your hat, you instantly grabbed his hand and pushed it away. Why didn’t you let him see your face? Donnie might have wanted to see the happiness in your eyes that you saw in his? You said you have always loved Jon’s eyes because they seem so kind and friendly. You said you like seeing Jon’s eyes in front of you and they still looked kind and friendly. You let both Donnie and Jon hug you. You’ve always wanted a hug by Jon and yet you hate hugs and try to keep people from hugging you. Why don’t you let anyone see your face? Why don’t you let people hug you?” Again I couldn’t answer that question.
I watched the clip again and he’s right. I grabbed Donnie’s hand and didn’t let him take my hat off. It was instinct. I didn’t realize I did that. I have no idea why I did that. This did get me to thinking.
I looked back at pictures of me through the last ten years and over 90% of them I’m wearing a hat. It is pulled down on my head as low as possible. There are very few pictures of me I don’t make friend delete and the few that are left I have a hat on my head. I didn’t realize this fact about me. I also started to think about why I wore hats so much. Again this is one of those times where I have to be honest with myself. [It sucks sometimes]
Yes I wear hats a lot as a “security blanket”. It provides a barrier to open conversation. It makes me less approachable especially when I look down wearing a hat. No one wants to come up and talk to the top of a hat. I was sending out signals to leave me alone. I guess it has worked too.
Yes I wear hats to hide my eyes from people. A lot of time I’m trying to hide panic or fear from people. I’m afraid that if people saw the panic or fear they’d think I was crazy. 
Yes I wear hats to feel safe because if no one wants to talk or get near me then I can’t emotionally or physically get hurt. Yes I’m afraid of getting hurt. I mean there is a reason I still have nightmares. I still struggle from that horrid night. I still battle the fear.
Yes I don’t like to be hugged. Yes I’ve always wanted a hug from Jon. [Weird I know] Yes I do try to keep people from hugging me. I’ve always been this way. My mom says I never hug her enough. I never have. [Yes I’ve hugged my mom but it isn’t very often.] I have a best friend since I was seven and there have been times we haven’t seen each other for over a year and I still haven’t hugged her. I’m glad to see her and I’ve missed her but I still couldn’t hug her. I can tolerate and even give hugs at church because have you ever tried tell senior citizens at church not to hug you? Especially in the south? Not happening. If my nieces and nephews come up and hug me of course I hug them back. I’m not a cold person. I’m just not a hugger. I have always had problems letting someone get that close to me. [It has gotten worse since that horrid night.] And yet as my friend pointed out I let Donnie and Jon hug me.

[See what I mean about being honest with yourself. Sometimes it sucks.] I guess the questions are:
Now that you know why you wear hats-Are you still going to wear them?

Now that you realize hugs aren’t terrible and nothing bad will happen when hug people- Are you going to let people hug you?

I’m probably going to be wearing hats less and less. This means I’m going to have push myself and make myself more approachable. Don’t panic when people try to talk to me. Learn to talk to people no matter where I am. [Oh my whole body is already not liking this] This also means I’ll have to learn how to do more than put my hair in a ponytail or back in barrettes. I’m probably going to have to learn how to wear makeup too. I usually look terrible and worse when I wear makeup. [This could be interesting for this non girly girl.]
Yes I’m going to try and let more people hug me. [Now to my friends and family reading this please don’t go overboard with the hugs]  Yes I’ll be more open to hugs or other shows of affection. [Just typing this my stomach started turning and I got nervous.] I am looking forward to hugging my best friend since I was seven. She is getting a huge one. I get to see her in 8 days.
It seems yet again I have something to be grateful to Jon for [besides saving my life] only this time it is Donnie too. Thanks for getting me to like hugs & inspiring me to be more open to them. If I ever get the chance to see Donnie and Jon again I’ll have the hat off so they can see in my eyes how happy they’ve made me.

To see where I began this journey:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html

Facebook account that goes with this blog:
https://www.facebook.com/Change2Healthy

To follow me on Twitter
Account for Blog-https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy
Personal one where I mostly talk to BH’s about the guys-https://twitter.com/MarieMontgome16

 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Time of my Life Continues........


The Time of my Life Continues…….
This is a continuation from my last blog:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2015/05/i-did-it-it-was-amazing-wow-awesome.html

I have gotten a lot of great response from this blog posting. I have had so many people leave me the sweetest FB and Twitter messages. I am very grateful for that. Thank you. People are sharing my blog. I’m blessed. I hope more people share it.

If you read my blog regularly you know I am driving a friend’s family to FL. On vacation. We had this booked before #MainEvent tour dates were announced. Well since we are going to be there on vacation on June 5th my friend got me and her daughter NKOTB tickets for Orlando. [I drove my friend’s family down there last year too and played NKOTB the whole way. I made her 16 yr. old daughter a BH. She loves Joe.]

I was already excited about this but now I am more than excited to see this concert. I can’t wait. I just can’t wait for this concert. I have no dread or worry about it either. I now know after Dallas that I can do this. I gained so much confidence. That is a huge blessing.

I also have even more motivation to add to my workouts and be even more careful about what I eat. I hope to lose 10 more pounds by June 5th. I’m going to stay positive and claim that I will do this. I’m going to lose this 10 more pounds. Hopefully more by the next concert.
Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to finally give Jon his thank you letter. I know odds are against me we don’t have floor sits. I do know we will have a lot of fun! This time I am sharing the concert with a new BH and thousands more BH’s that will be in Orlando.

To see where my journey began:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy

 

 

Friday, May 15, 2015

I DID IT! IT WAS AN AMAZING, WOW, AWESOME, BLOCK PARTY

I DID IT! IT WAS AN AMAZING, WOW, AWESOME, BLOCK PARTY

Ok before I go any further it is important that you understand how much the events of this blog means to me. If you haven’t already you need to read my first blog. It shows where I was in my life at the beginning of this blog. Here is the link for the first blog:

Now on with this blog posting.

If you have read my blog you know I am a huge New Kid on the Block fan. I am a Block Head. You also know that this concert was a goal of mine. Weeks leading up to this concert I had so much worry and concern that I even had several panic attacks over it. I’m not a huge fan of crowds. I also don’t like a lot of nose and packed into a place. I was so afraid I would have a panic attack in front of everyone. I kept telling myself I had to go. I could do this.

Someone bought me this concert ticket and my ticket to get there. They wouldn’t take any more of the excuses I came up with for not going. I was good at given them. I let fear of being around all those people and having a panic attack in front of them keep me from going to see NKOTB since their reunion tour of 2008. I had chances to go. I just always came up with excuses why I couldn’t go. I even bought my best friend and fellow BH a ticket and told her to go for me and tell me about it. She did. So the fact I was going to this concert was amazing. It would be the first for me.

[Now let me explain what I mean by first. I went to see them 90 Magic Summer tour and again in 91. My parents had early curfew and both times I didn’t get to stay till end. In 90 I left after 8 songs. In 91 I left after 11. This would be my first concert of this huge size since 91. This would be the first concert I was going at alone without anyone there in case I did have a panic attack. This was my first.]

I would be traveling by bus alone to get there. I would be going to the concert alone too. I would be hanging out in a Greyhound Bus station and changing before the concert alone. I then had to hangout after the concert till 3am to catch a bus home. This did worry me. This also concerned some of my friends. I had a lot of people pulling for me. My family, friends, and even Twitter friends and BH’s that were encouraging me. I was also excited because this concert was going to be streaming live. Now my best friend Sandra and all my other BH’s could be at the same concert with me.

On May 14th 2015, I woke up at 4am. Why? Because I was so excited about the NKOTB concert. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. I got up and got dressed and ready. Then listened to NKOTB for a couple of hours. At 6am I grabbed my bag and walked the 5 blocks to the Greyhound Bus station. [I don’t own a car and flying was too expensive. NKOTB doesn’t come to my state.] I was listening to NKOTB the whole way. The station wasn’t open but I already had my ticket. I waited for the bus. [Now my bus was due at 7am but I was too excited to stay home so I left early.] I got on the bus and was relieved to have a sit by myself. Due to my size this is important. I also was around some nice people. They asked me about what I was doing so I told them. We talked off and on the six and half hour bus trip to Dallas. I also listened to NKOTB and communicated with people on Facebook and Twitter. Grateful that Greyhound has WiFi. My nerves and fear wasn’t there. The only thing I had was excitement.

I arrived in Dallas. Grateful to be off the bus because my knees and legs were getting a bit sore. I walked around the station and this helped them. I had some lunch. I charged my tablet. [Realized I forgot my phone charger. I turned off the cell to save the battery.] About 3pm I changed for the concert. Yes I changed and did my hair and makeup in a Greyhound bus station. I repacked my backpack up. Went and paid the $8 to store it with Greyhound. I caught a cab and went to the American Airlines Center. Now the cab driver dropped me off at the wrong spot. That was alright because I turned and looked and there was their buses. This BH was happy. I get out of the cab as Jon gets off the bus. I squeal “OMG its JON!” He turned, pointed to me and waived. Then went into the building. I know it was me because where I was standing I was the only BH around. I was so excited because my favorite had just waived to me. I went on to find my gate. I was the first person at my gate. I wasn’t too early it was 4:40ish and gates opened at 5:30. Then another BH comes over. We both just stand there in silence for a bit. I finally realize that is stupid we have NKOTB in common. I say “HI” It went from there. Her name is Ashley. She is a Joe girl but Jordan and Donnie really way up there too. Turns out our sits were both floor sits and close to each other but not in the same section. She has been to several of their concerts. So we talked. I shared some of my story with her. By this point several other BH’s were showing up. We all were just talking. Then they let us in the gates. I felt a rush because I’m doing this.

I go to the inner box office because there was concerns about me being able to sit in my sit. Turns out even if I didn’t fit there wasn’t anything they could do. I got real nervous now. I have had to leave other, much smaller, events because of this issue. I started to worry about it. Ashley was still with me. She said “hey we will be dancing anyways.” I smiled. I then went and bought a program and a hat. I also got Ashley a program. We go to our sits. I knew I was close to the stage but I had no idea how close. I had good seat. Third row with only two seats in front of me. I was excited. I then saw how close together the seats were. I sat down and yes I took up two seats. I was worried. If the sit beside me sold then I might have to move or leave all together. I was worried but determined not to let it get to me. I started talking to the other BH’s around me. They were nice. The person sitting on the left side of me arrived with her friend. She sat down in her seat. I moved a little. “I told her I was sorry” She replied “No problem. You’re good.” J J J I got to talk to these two now. She is a two time Breast cancer survivor. She and her friend were amazing. They asked who my favorite was. I replied “Jon.” Several girls in this area didn’t get that. I told them my story and why he was my favorite. [Again if you haven’t read my first blog you don’t understand the response I’m about to tell you about.] They were amazed. They all had been to shows before. They all told me to have a great time. They said it is awesome you can do this. I had two wonderful supporting BH’s behind me and two to the left of me. I was really relaxing and enjoying everything.

Nellie performed. I liked it but by this point more people were there. I was not prepared for how loud it got. I wasn’t prepared for people to be that close and all around me screaming. I can’t begin to describe how much that affected me. I just sat there. The sits beside me thankfully hadn’t filled up yet. I was getting really nervous now. I was starting to get that feeling of dread. I forced myself to stand up. The sweet BH to my left gentle touched me and said “I’m getting us some drinks do you want something?” I hesitated because I really couldn’t afford it. She smiled and said “I got it.” I said a Coke” She patted my arm again and left. Then I realized I was shaking. Her friend and the two nice ladies behind me just smiled at me. One of them and I don’t know who said “You can do this.” I wasn’t so sure. When I get like to this point all I want to do is RUNAWAY AND HIDE. That is what I wanted to do at that exact moment. It was a battle to stay but I started talking myself through it. I was telling myself I could do this. I picture Jon when I have these attacks. I did and it helped. I started taking some deep breaths. The lady was back with my coke. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was. I think nerves made that worse. I drank it. This was helping. I turned to look at her and she smiled and nodded her head at me. Then went back to parting with Nellie. I slowly began to relax. I started enjoying it. Then TLC came on. They were awesome. I did have another moment of nerves again. I got the feeling of wanting to run again. I talked myself through it. Then two ladies came in and sat beside me. They were just the sweetest things. They had come in from England.

Then it happened. NKOTB hit the stage. My five favorite guys were there. I was up and screaming. I was dancing I was having a party. Then Danny Wood comes near the end of the stage I’m at and he pointing and waving to people. He points to his head like a hat and points to me and blows a kiss. [I was the only one with a hat on in my area.] He blow me a kiss.
Jordan Knight danced right there on stage and in front of me. He winked. [I’m going to say it was for me.] Joe on Sweet Dreams was doing his thing right in front of me on stage. He pointed and waved right to me. [I was this close to the stage.]

But let me tell you about Remix. OMG! I was rocking out and dancing. I didn’t care how I looked I was having fun! Donnie comes down the side of the stage where I am. I’m looking for Jon but turn to see Donnie right there. He points at me and gets this look. I’m thinking. He is pointing at me. He is coming this way. He is looking at me. OMG Donnie Wahlberg is on chairs in front of me. He touched me. He moved my hat. It’s attached to my head that’s gonna hurt. He touched and danced with me again. Then my brain said HUG HIM! I did and he hugged me back good too! WOW! He gave me a huge hug. I mean a huge hug! He danced with me. He came from the stage and danced with me. Donnie just danced with me. He hugged the two ladies beside me and then winked at me and went back on stage. I don’t remember the next few moments because I was in my mind- Donnie Wahlberg just gave me my Remix moment. I wanted my Remix moment since I began this Journey of Change. I was so stunned. I couldn’t believe Donnie just did that. The BH’s around me were hugging me, high fiving me. Telling me how happy they were for me. One lady said “I would have passed out.” I replied “If that had been JON I would have.” She asked why? I replied because “Jon is the best.” [Although Donnie has totally blown this JONGIRL’s mind….] The rest of the concert was wonderful. I danced even more and screamed even louder. I thought my night couldn’t have gotten any better. I was wrong. It did. It got way better. It was the end of the concert. Hangin’ Tough just finished. Jon came on my end. He walked a few steps down and leaned out and started giving people high fives. He gave me one. Then he saw the two ladies to my right. He came out to them. These were my thoughts here. Jon is coming in the audience. Jon is walking towards me. Jon is in front of me on the chairs on his knees. Jon just hugged the ladies beside me. He is talking to them. He went to leave and I asked “Can I have a hug too?” He just smiles big and said [I think] “Of course” He threw open his arms and wrapped them around me. He didn’t just give me a quick little in passing hug. JON HUGGGGGGGED me. Then went back on stage. I couldn’t move. I just got hugged by JON KNIGHT! He is my favorite guy. He is my hero. OMG! OMG! JON KNIGHT JUST HUGGED ME! I don’t remember anything for a bit after this. I was thinking the man you wanted to thank for saving your life just hugged you. He hugged you. Wait I didn’t thank him. I didn’t give him the thank letter I’ve wanted to give him for years. I didn’t do it. But Man JON hugged me. He is hands down the best hugger in the world. He hugs you with his all. He hugs the best I’ve ever been hugged. I turned to see the lady Jon had hugged before me smiling at me. I said “He is my favorite. He saved my life.” She asked for more. I shared a quick summary. She then said “Thank you for sharing that with me.” She was so sweet. [My hearing wasn’t very good at this point I didn’t hear everything she said.] She said “That is an inspiring story.” Then people started coming up and talking to me about my Donnie and Jon moments from the show.

I will never forget this KNIGHT! [I spelled it the way that fits] I wish I had given Jon the thank you card with the thank letter in it but my mind froze. I still have them and maybe someday I’ll be able to give it to him. I hope that JON, Donnie, Joe, Danny and Jordan know how much they made this BH’s KNIGHT! I hope they know how amazing and wonderful they are. I hope they also know how grateful, appreciated, respected, and LOVED they are by me.

I kept trying to take pictures but I didn’t want to watch the concert through a camera lens. I wanted to enjoy it and take it all in. I wanted to be in the moment. I wanted to live in moments of this concert without trying to capture it. I wanted to experience it without stress or worry. I turned off the camera. I only wish I had a picture of JON hugging me.
I’m going to relive the experience by watching the replay of the concert tonight. If any BH’s have video or pictures from Dallas of Jon hugging me I’d love to see them. I was sitting in section 19 C 11. If you have video of Donnie giving me my Remix moment I’d love to see it too.

To Follow the Facebook account that goes with this blog:
https://www.facebook.com/Change2Healthy
I will be posting the few pictures I have from the concert on this page.

To follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy
This site is used just for blog information

I will also be post on my personal Twitter account which I use to hang out with BH’s only. If you are a blockhead check me out:
https://twitter.com/MarieMontgome16

To see where I began this journey:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html

 

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Today is the Day!


Today is the day!
Well I am writing this at 5:25am. Why am I up this early and it not be for work? I’m going to be leaving to catch a Greyhound Bus to go see NKOTB. I’m excited. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m a little nervous but nothing really bad. I’m very thankful for that. I’m determined to make it to this concert. I’m not going to let my nerves and fear of having a panic attack. I will have FUN! That is what I am focusing on.
Ok this is just the fan coming out here. I also keep picturing getting to hug Jon.
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy


 

Monday, May 11, 2015

scared


Scared
I wish I knew how to describe this better but I’m afraid unless you’ve experienced it firsthand there isn’t a way to describe it.
Today was a terrible day for me. I woke up on edge and it hasn’t gotten any better. I hate being me when I get like this. All day today I have fought the urge to just run off and hide and cry. I have off letting myself lose it. I kept my hands in my pockets a lot at work to hide the fact they were shaking. I made through the day but I got home and just everything I seem to have been putting off just hit me. I suddenly couldn’t breathe very well. I knew I wasn’t have a heart attack. I knew what this was. I was having a panic attack. My mind couldn’t focus on one thing. I was shaking. I kept gripping my arms with my hands. I started to pace the floor. I felt the room suddenly got smaller and smaller. Everything was closing in on me. I wanted to just escape it. I couldn’t. Then the room was not only getting smaller it was now pressing on me. I felt like the air was being sucked right out of me. I started to cry. I just couldn’t focus. I just couldn’t get myself to calm down. I finally just sat right there in the middle of my floor and shook and cried. I tried to refocus my brain. I tried to not think. Every thought I thought just kept coming at me so fast. The room was becoming a smaller till I felt like I could feel the four walls around me. I just was stuck in this state of panic.
It took about an hour for me to be able to calm down enough to get off the floor and sit on my couch. I sat there and looked around my living room and felt like a complete failure. Why do I let this happen to me? I should be past this. I shouldn’t still have this. I have worked so hard on getting my life together. I shouldn’t let this happen.
I was thinking this as I looked at my Jon calendar on the door and remembered that this Thursday I’m going to a NKOTB concert. I’m leaving my house alone boarding a Greyhound bus. I’m traveling to Dallas. Attending the concert and then traveling home on a Greyhound bus. First thought that came to my mind-“Yeah Right. You hate crowds and this place will be crowed. You don’t really enjoy being by yourself and you will be. You hate going where you don’t know anyone and you don’t know anyone there. You hate having panic attacks esp. in public where you could get mad fun of. You’ve been told you might not even get to sit in the area where you bought a ticket because of your size. You don’t know what to expect. You hate not knowing what will happen. You won’t make this.” These thoughts have played over and over again in my mind all night. Well they’ve been playing in my mind for several days. Weeks in fact.
I’m excited to go to the concert. I am but I’m scared and concerned at the same time.

To see where my journey began:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Seven More Days!!!


Seven More Days!!!!!!
It seven more days till I board a Greyhound bus and travel to see NKOTB in Dallas, TX. I’ve been pushing myself extra hard the closer I get to the concert. I pushed a little too hard. I have been having a lot of trouble with my left leg. It hurts. I got it checked out and I have caused it to be over worked. The doctor said it was a stress injury. He asked what I was doing so I explained everything that I was doing. He said. Good for you but tune it back a little. Sit down more often and try to do all your workouts in water.

Well doing them all in water won’t happen due to work schedule changes and I’m at work when the community center with a pool is opened. I did give myself today and tomorrow off from walking. I will now sit to watch TV. [I was trying to get my legs used to standing so I could see NKOTB live. No one sits down.]
So I’m still working towards the concert but I am having to slack off a bit. It was a different experience to have a doctor tell me to tune it down. Normally they are telling me to do more. This was something new for me to hear.

I’m so excited about finally seeing NKOTB in concert. Yes I’m still nervous about being in a crowd of people this size. I don’t like having to go by myself.  I’m still concerned I’ll have a panic attack but I am not letting it hold me back. I am going and trying to have my mind just stay focused on NKOTB and JON!

To see where my journey began:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html

If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy

 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Step By Step


Step By Step

Step by Step is how I am getting ready for the Main Event. I made a new playlist for my walk today. Of course it will NKOTB but now that I know the playlist for #TheMainEvent I’ve changed the order a bit. In fact when this is posted I’m taking another walk. Got keep taking it Step by Step.

Last night I saw the first part of NKOTB show online and WOW! It is going to be awesome. I’m so looking forward to it. I also saw the massive crowd. I mean MASSIVE! This of course got my mind concerned again. What if I can’t handle all of the people? What if my nerves get the better of me? What if I have a panic attack and have to leave? This defiantly makes me wish I wasn’t going to this concert by myself. Its ok I just have to focus that I’ll be at a NKOTB concert.
So on May 14th I’m getting on a Greyhound bus and traveling to Dallas and going to the concert. Even if I have to force myself because I will hate myself if I don’t do this.

To see where I began my journey Read my first blog posting:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy