Excitement is Building!!!!!!

Excitement is Building!!!

To say that I am in count down mode is an understatement. I’m so excited. May 14^th I get to see NKOTB. I’m listening to them as I type this. I’ve been listening to them a lot as I walk and add extra workouts to my daily routine. It is 10:30pm and I’m thinking of doing another Richard Simmons DVD. I want to get any extra off here in these last 14 days before the concert.

I have to contain my excitement though. I’m working on helping someone do some research papers and have a huge deadline. If I allow my excitement to come out in full force I wouldn’t stay focused on the extra work.

Tomorrow is the day I start a new walking area. It starts out the same but adding to my normal. It will make this walk over a mile. I’m looking forward to it. There is also a huge hill on this new area. I’m determined to do it. I know it will keep adding strength to my legs and calves.

Other than working out and work there really isn’t nothing new in my life right now. Although I do amaze myself at how much I am liking my walks and workout time.

I’ll try to post something every day leading up to the concert.

To see where I began my journey:

http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy

 

Honesty and Frustration

Honesty and Frustration

I said when I started this blog I would be honest. Well today being honest means I feel like a failure. I really do. I have failed at this again. URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

You see my scale has been broke for several months now. I been weighing at friends or public places. I got mine fixed today and stepped on it. I hate myself right now. I truly do. I have gained all but 6 pounds back. I have failed yet again.

I don’t know understand this. I’ve been walking, doing the Richard Simmons DVD’s, drinking water and yet I have gained it back. WHY??????

I’ve lost inches. I’ve been measuring that. I’ve gone down in my clothes and yet I’ve gained the weight back. WHY?????

I really am a failure. I hate this. The whole reason I was going on to this concert was I had lost the weight. [That and I love NKOTB] Now the weight is back. I feel like if I go it will be a lie.

I HAVE FAILED YET AGAIN!

I really don’t understand anything about this situation right now. I haven’t achieved anything. NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To see where I began this journey:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy

 

Oh My Stupid Nerves

It is getting closer to the time I travel by Greyhound bus to Dallas to see NKOTB. The closer it gets the more excited I become. I’m still adding to my workouts and walking. I’m determined to do this.

What worries me, is my nerves. Oh how I hate my nerves. They do tend to get in the way. [If I let them.] Everything about this is not something I’m used to doing. It is an unknown for me and that makes me nervous.
I have a ticket but not sure if I have a sit. Let me explain. I was told by American Airlines Center that I had to buy my ticket first and then they would help me arrange a sit. I explained my size and weight. I explained I needed a chair without arms. I was told then buy a floor sit. We can change it after you buy it to ensure you’re at the end of a row. Call us back after you get the ticket. That is what I did. I have tried on several occasions to get the ticket exchanged. I can’t. I’m in the middle of a row. Not good as I take up two seats. I have now been told I will be moved to a sit I can sit in but it is on first come first serve bases as where you will be seated. I could end up much further back then the floor seats. Plus I might have to stand the entire time. Now you see why this is embarrassing and unnerving for me. I don’t know what will happen. [This only adds to my nerves.]
I have had horrid experiences in my past going to events where other guests there and the staff have treated me like dirt and were just mean to me. I hope that this is not the case for this concert. I have worked hard at losing weight and getting things on a healthier path. I know I have a long way to go. I’m just letting my nerves get the better of me right now. I’m worried I’m going to have a panic attack at this concert. I always feel so worthless when I have them. I’ll also be there by myself.

Yes I’m still excited about going but man my nerves are killing me.

To see where I began my journal:

http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html

If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy

Keep Going, Even Though......

Keep Going, Even Though…….

I have a new laptop. I’ve been without one for just over a month. I misses having a laptop. I do like having the tablet but it has a lot of limitations. The biggest being not able to use it for writing blog postings and working on my story. I missed doing these postings. So let’s not waste any more time and catch up.

I’ve been working hard on achieving my long term and short term goals. My first short term goal is approaching fast. The NKOTB concert is on May 14^th. The closer it gets the more excited I become. I still have my doubts as if I will be able to sit in the sits. The ones who read my blog know why I have concerns. I am sure I will be standing the entire time. [Even before the concert even starts.] I have continued to add to my walking time. I hate days where I don’t get a walk in. I also watch TV standing to get my legs used to standing that long. I’m able to stand the entire time I watch Blue Bloods. [I stand up a lot now to try and get my legs, knees and ankle.] I am happy to say that my legs are getting used to standing and moving. YESSSS!

I have to share this story. I was shopping with a friend of mine a few days ago. She is normally a much faster walker than me. She also can walk all over stores for hours and not get tired. We were going about our shopping when she suddenly stopped and looked at me. I asked her “What?” She replied “You are able to keep up with me. You are not tired.” I smiled because she is right. This is one of the moments in my life proved that I am on the right path.

Another sign is I bought new clothes recently and they were all a size smaller. Yeah!!!!!!! In fact my shirt could be a size smaller. This is great news to me. I’m looking forward to buying new clothes again because I know it will be a smaller size again. I’m looking forward to loosing enough weight that I can get into the fashionable clothes instead of the baggy oversized ones.

You might be wondering with the good news why the tittle of this post? I am losing more inches than I am pounds. I know inches are very important to lose and mean I am losing more fat but I do miss the numbers going down on the scale. The numbers on the scales are staying the same. I am growing impatient in this part of my journey but I keep getting told I need to be patience. The weight will start to come off again. My response is when? WHEN?

I am making progress in the story I am writing too. My writing is improving and I’m learning what is needed and what is too much. Trust me as a writer it is hard to cut your writings. I still love it when the creative energies are flowing free. Sometimes they flow faster than I can type. I am still in love with writing.
I still struggle with my nerves but I haven’t had a panic attack for a while. I’m still pushing myself and trying new things even if they make me nervous. I still worry about having a panic attack on the greyhound bus to the concert or during the concert. I do not want to embarrass myself by having a panic at the concert. I worry about things like this. I know that doesn’t help but I am working on changing that too.

I’m still traveling on this Journey of Change.
If you want to see where I began my journey check out my first blog: http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html

If you want to follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy