Speaking My Mind

This has taken me a while to write. This did not happen to me, but it did happen to a friend of mine. My friend called up so upset because this happened to her. She went with her husband out to eat. While eating this family came in and the kids were brats. They were causing problems, running around, and yelling. My friend and her husband finished their meal. They were waiting on a cab.

(Now here is where I need to give you some background information. My friend has Lipedema in her arms. In the arms Lipedema is rare but she has it. It affects her arms like it affects my legs)

My friend and her husband were waiting for their cab. He was outside while she waited in the AC. One of the kids came up to my friends and asked, “Hey Why are your arms so big?” This caught my friend off her guard, but her response was great “Why are you the way you are?” The kid’s parents looked at my friend like she was terrible for asking/ responding that way. Then the kid reached for my friend’s arms and almost touched her arms “Can I touch it?” My friend replied in a firm voice “Don’t touch me!” The kid’s parents Huffed and gave her the stare of how dare you. My friend was upset. The kid just stood there staring and pointing at my friend. Several people were now looking at my friend. She walked outside to wait in the heat for the cab with her husband. She was so embarrassed. Plus, due to so many people staring at her she was also dealing with her anxiety too.

I am sharing this story because things like this have happened to me before. I understand the embarrassment she felt. As you all know I carry my 80% of my weight in my legs. It is Lipedema. I am a 3x on top and 6x/7x on the bottom because of Lipedema. I do not look like what the war says is normal. I am extremely big from my hips down. So I get lots of looks, rude and mean comments. I get it a lot. When I stand up for myself I get comments like “Well your fat and did it to yourself.” “Well all we’re doing is speaking the truth your huge!” I’ve been called a beach whale. Once I was walking and had on a tie-dye tunic. A car vehicle drove past me and then backed up rolling down their window. I think they’re asking for directions. I go to the window and the person says “Do you know you look like a tie-dye beach whale walking.” Everyone in the vehicle laughed. It cut me to the core.

There have been times when I was in public with people all around and someone has made remarks loud enough for everyone to hear. No one else said anything but they laughed at it. I have gone to job interviews and the interviewer has made side remarks about my weight. Or they’ll make comments like “Umm I am not sure you can keep up” as they look me up one side and down the other. It is like people know making fun of people who are fat is accepted. People know they will get support.

Oh and after I have been made fun of in front of people I have had people come up to me and say “Well maybe getting told the truth will motivate you to lose weight. Sometimes people just need the truth pointed out them.” Really? You’re saying it is okay to say rude things at me, be disrespectful to me, and make fun of me. It is okay for people to discriminate against me just because I’m fat!

Well it is Not! None of this kind of behavior is ok. It is not alright to treat me or anyone else like this. I am a human being. I am a member of the human race. Hello! I should be treated with respect and kindness. (That’s how I treat people.) Despite what it the consensus is I did not do this to myself. I do not sit around all day eating. I do not eat entire pizza, or an entire bag of potato chips in one setting. I do not eat donuts, candy and cup cakes all day. I do not have 1,000 calories per meal. I do not just sit around and watch TV all day. I enjoy walking. I enjoy doing Richard Simmons workouts and Sit and Be Fit workouts. I enjoy traveling. I enjoy walking to meet my friends downtown for picnics or just hanging out. I like to participate in life. Yes I know this surprises a lot of people. Some of you might be reading this going “What! No way a person of that huge size can do all of that.” (I said some of you)

Here are a few things you should know about me:

1-My appearance and weight gain is not my fault. I have Stage 4 Lipedema- Secondary Lymphedema both diseases lead to obesity. (Look it UP!) I did not know I had Lipedema until I was at stage 4. I found out eleven months ago. I have had it since I was 14/15 years old. Doctors just would say- “lose weight” “get active” “stop eating junk” (No wonder people treat us like we deserve to be treated with disrespect- the doctors do too!)

2-I have always tried to lose weight. I have been successful and then it would just stop. I could never really lose weight in my legs. In fact, no matter what I did, my legs kept getting bigger. Doctors just didn’t care. They saw me and FAT end of story.

3-There is a Public Relation campaign called “The War on Obesity.” WAR! Really you are going to war against me? You are going to war against human beings like myself.  War? When you say War doesn’t it mean a fight, a battle, a physical assault, trying to defeat one group of people so another one can rule? I did a quick research of the meaning of war and got this- War is a state of armed conflict between states, societies and informal groups, such as insurgents and militias. It is generally characterized by extreme aggression, destruction, and mortality, using regular or irregular military forces.

Is this what we’re doing here with the “War on obesity”?

No wonder people feel that they have the right to be rude, mean, and disrespectful to people like myself, my friend, and lots of people like myself, they are at war with us. They think we are the enemy. I am here to tell you, We Are Not the Enemy. We are human beings.

I have no idea where this will go from here. I didn’t intend to write in this tone when I started but maybe it is for the best. I had to get this out. Now that it is maybe we can talk about this honestly.

Thank You for reading this.