Ok before I go any further it is important that you understand how much the events of this blog means to me. If you haven’t already you need to read my first blog. It shows where I was in my life at the beginning of this blog. Here is the link for the first blog:
Now on with this blog posting.
If you have read my blog you know I am a huge New Kid
on the Block fan. I am a Block Head. You also know that this concert was a goal
of mine. Weeks leading up to this concert I had so much worry and concern that
I even had several panic attacks over it. I’m not a huge fan of crowds. I also
don’t like a lot of nose and packed into a place. I was so afraid I would have
a panic attack in front of everyone. I kept telling myself I had to go. I could
do this.
Someone bought me this concert ticket and my ticket to
get there. They wouldn’t take any more of the excuses I came up with for not
going. I was good at given them. I let fear of being around all those people
and having a panic attack in front of them keep me from going to see NKOTB
since their reunion tour of 2008. I had chances to go. I just always came up
with excuses why I couldn’t go. I even bought my best friend and fellow BH a
ticket and told her to go for me and tell me about it. She did. So the fact I
was going to this concert was amazing. It would be the first for me.
[Now let me explain what
I mean by first. I went to see them 90 Magic Summer tour and again in 91. My
parents had early curfew and both times I didn’t get to stay till end. In 90 I
left after 8 songs. In 91 I left after 11. This would be my first concert of
this huge size since 91. This would be the first concert I was going at alone
without anyone there in case I did have a panic attack. This was my first.]
I would be traveling by bus alone to get there. I
would be going to the concert alone too. I would be hanging out in a Greyhound
Bus station and changing before the concert alone. I then had to hangout after
the concert till 3am to catch a bus home. This did worry me. This also
concerned some of my friends. I had a lot of people pulling for me. My family, friends,
and even Twitter friends and BH’s that were encouraging me. I was also excited because
this concert was going to be streaming live. Now my best friend Sandra and all
my other BH’s could be at the same concert with me.
On May 14th 2015, I woke up at 4am. Why? Because
I was so excited about the NKOTB concert. I tried to go back to sleep but I
couldn’t. I got up and got dressed and ready. Then listened to NKOTB for a
couple of hours. At 6am I grabbed my bag and walked the 5 blocks to the
Greyhound Bus station. [I don’t own a car and flying was too expensive. NKOTB
doesn’t come to my state.] I was listening to NKOTB the whole way. The station
wasn’t open but I already had my ticket. I waited for the bus. [Now my bus was
due at 7am but I was too excited to stay home so I left early.] I got on the
bus and was relieved to have a sit by myself. Due to my size this is important.
I also was around some nice people. They asked me about what I was doing so I
told them. We talked off and on the six and half hour bus trip to Dallas. I
also listened to NKOTB and communicated with people on Facebook and Twitter.
Grateful that Greyhound has WiFi. My nerves and fear wasn’t there. The only
thing I had was excitement.
I arrived in Dallas. Grateful to be off the bus because
my knees and legs were getting a bit sore. I walked around the station and this
helped them. I had some lunch. I charged my tablet. [Realized I forgot my phone
charger. I turned off the cell to save the battery.] About 3pm I changed for
the concert. Yes I changed and did my hair and makeup in a Greyhound bus station.
I repacked my backpack up. Went and paid the $8 to store it with Greyhound. I
caught a cab and went to the American Airlines Center. Now the cab driver
dropped me off at the wrong spot. That was alright because I turned and looked
and there was their buses. This BH was happy. I get out of the cab as Jon gets
off the bus. I squeal “OMG its JON!” He turned, pointed to me and waived. Then
went into the building. I know it was me because where I was standing I was the
only BH around. I was so excited because my favorite had just waived to me. I
went on to find my gate. I was the first person at my gate. I wasn’t too early
it was 4:40ish and gates opened at 5:30. Then another BH comes over. We both
just stand there in silence for a bit. I finally realize that is stupid we have
NKOTB in common. I say “HI” It went from there. Her name is Ashley. She is a Joe
girl but Jordan and Donnie really way up there too. Turns out our sits were
both floor sits and close to each other but not in the same section. She has
been to several of their concerts. So we talked. I shared some of my story with
her. By this point several other BH’s were showing up. We all were just
talking. Then they let us in the gates. I felt a rush because I’m doing this.
I go to the inner box office because there was
concerns about me being able to sit in my sit. Turns out even if I didn’t fit there
wasn’t anything they could do. I got real nervous now. I have had to leave
other, much smaller, events because of this issue. I started to worry about it.
Ashley was still with me. She said “hey we will be dancing anyways.” I smiled.
I then went and bought a program and a hat. I also got Ashley a program. We go
to our sits. I knew I was close to the stage but I had no idea how close. I had
good seat. Third row with only two seats in front of me. I was excited. I then
saw how close together the seats were. I sat down and yes I took up two seats.
I was worried. If the sit beside me sold then I might have to move or leave all
together. I was worried but determined not to let it get to me. I started
talking to the other BH’s around me. They were nice. The person sitting on the
left side of me arrived with her friend. She sat down in her seat. I moved a
little. “I told her I was sorry” She replied “No problem. You’re good.” J J J
I got to talk to these two now. She is a two time Breast cancer survivor. She
and her friend were amazing. They asked who my favorite was. I replied “Jon.”
Several girls in this area didn’t get that. I told them my story and why he was
my favorite. [Again if you haven’t read my first blog you don’t understand the
response I’m about to tell you about.] They were amazed. They all had been to
shows before. They all told me to have a great time. They said it is awesome
you can do this. I had two wonderful supporting BH’s behind me and two to the
left of me. I was really relaxing and enjoying everything.
Nellie performed. I liked it but by this point more
people were there. I was not prepared for how loud it got. I wasn’t prepared
for people to be that close and all around me screaming. I can’t begin to
describe how much that affected me. I just sat there. The sits beside me
thankfully hadn’t filled up yet. I was getting really nervous now. I was
starting to get that feeling of dread. I forced myself to stand up. The sweet
BH to my left gentle touched me and said “I’m getting us some drinks do you
want something?” I hesitated because I really couldn’t afford it. She smiled
and said “I got it.” I said a Coke” She patted my arm again and left. Then I
realized I was shaking. Her friend and the two nice ladies behind me just
smiled at me. One of them and I don’t know who said “You can do this.” I wasn’t
so sure. When I get like to this point all I want to do is RUNAWAY AND HIDE.
That is what I wanted to do at that exact moment. It was a battle to stay but I
started talking myself through it. I was telling myself I could do this. I picture
Jon when I have these attacks. I did and it helped. I started taking some deep
breaths. The lady was back with my coke. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was. I
think nerves made that worse. I drank it. This was helping. I turned to look at
her and she smiled and nodded her head at me. Then went back to parting with
Nellie. I slowly began to relax. I started enjoying it. Then TLC came on. They
were awesome. I did have another moment of nerves again. I got the feeling of
wanting to run again. I talked myself through it. Then two ladies came in and
sat beside me. They were just the sweetest things. They had come in from
England.
Then it happened. NKOTB hit the stage. My five
favorite guys were there. I was up and screaming. I was dancing I was having a
party. Then Danny Wood comes near the end of the stage I’m at and he pointing
and waving to people. He points to his head like a hat and points to me and
blows a kiss. [I was the only one with a hat on in my area.] He blow me a kiss.
Jordan Knight danced right there on stage and in front
of me. He winked. [I’m going to say it was for me.] Joe on Sweet Dreams was
doing his thing right in front of me on stage. He pointed and waved right to
me. [I was this close to the stage.]
But let me tell you about Remix. OMG! I was rocking
out and dancing. I didn’t care how I looked I was having fun! Donnie comes down
the side of the stage where I am. I’m looking for Jon but turn to see Donnie
right there. He points at me and gets this look. I’m thinking. He is pointing
at me. He is coming this way. He is looking at me. OMG Donnie Wahlberg is on
chairs in front of me. He touched me. He moved my hat. It’s attached to my head
that’s gonna hurt. He touched and danced with me again. Then my brain said HUG
HIM! I did and he hugged me back good too! WOW! He gave me a huge hug. I mean a
huge hug! He danced with me. He came from the stage and danced with me. Donnie
just danced with me. He hugged the two ladies beside me and then winked at me
and went back on stage. I don’t remember the next few moments because I was in
my mind- Donnie Wahlberg just gave me my Remix moment. I wanted my Remix moment
since I began this Journey of Change. I was so stunned. I couldn’t believe
Donnie just did that. The BH’s around me were hugging me, high fiving me. Telling
me how happy they were for me. One lady said “I would have passed out.” I
replied “If that had been JON I would have.” She asked why? I replied because “Jon
is the best.” [Although Donnie has totally blown this JONGIRL’s mind….] The
rest of the concert was wonderful. I danced even more and screamed even louder.
I thought my night couldn’t have gotten any better. I was wrong. It did. It got
way better. It was the end of the concert. Hangin’ Tough just finished. Jon
came on my end. He walked a few steps down and leaned out and started giving
people high fives. He gave me one. Then he saw the two ladies to my right. He
came out to them. These were my thoughts here. Jon is coming in the audience.
Jon is walking towards me. Jon is in front of me on the chairs on his knees.
Jon just hugged the ladies beside me. He is talking to them. He went to leave
and I asked “Can I have a hug too?” He just smiles big and said [I think] “Of
course” He threw open his arms and wrapped them around me. He didn’t just give
me a quick little in passing hug. JON HUGGGGGGGED me. Then went back on stage.
I couldn’t move. I just got hugged by JON KNIGHT! He is my favorite guy. He is
my hero. OMG! OMG! JON KNIGHT JUST HUGGED ME! I don’t remember anything for a
bit after this. I was thinking the man you wanted to thank for saving your life
just hugged you. He hugged you. Wait I didn’t thank him. I didn’t give him the
thank letter I’ve wanted to give him for years. I didn’t do it. But Man JON
hugged me. He is hands down the best hugger in the world. He hugs you with his
all. He hugs the best I’ve ever been hugged. I turned to see the lady Jon had
hugged before me smiling at me. I said “He is my favorite. He saved my life.”
She asked for more. I shared a quick summary. She then said “Thank you for
sharing that with me.” She was so sweet. [My hearing wasn’t very good at this
point I didn’t hear everything she said.] She said “That is an inspiring story.”
Then people started coming up and talking to me about my Donnie and Jon moments
from the show.
I will never forget this KNIGHT! [I spelled it the way
that fits] I wish I had given Jon the thank you card with the thank letter in
it but my mind froze. I still have them and maybe someday I’ll be able to give
it to him. I hope that JON, Donnie, Joe, Danny and Jordan know how much they
made this BH’s KNIGHT! I hope they know how amazing and wonderful they are. I
hope they also know how grateful, appreciated, respected, and LOVED they are by
me.
I kept trying to take pictures but I didn’t want to
watch the concert through a camera lens. I wanted to enjoy it and take it all
in. I wanted to be in the moment. I wanted to live in moments of this concert
without trying to capture it. I wanted to experience it without stress or
worry. I turned off the camera. I only wish I had a picture of JON hugging me.
I’m going to relive the experience by watching the
replay of the concert tonight. If any BH’s have video or pictures from Dallas
of Jon hugging me I’d love to see them. I was sitting in section 19 C 11. If
you have video of Donnie giving me my Remix moment I’d love to see it too.
To Follow the Facebook account that goes with this
blog:
https://www.facebook.com/Change2HealthyI will be posting the few pictures I have from the concert on this page.
To follow me on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Change2Healthy
This site is used just for blog informationhttps://twitter.com/Change2Healthy
I will also be post on my personal Twitter account which I use to hang out with BH’s only. If you are a blockhead check me out:
https://twitter.com/MarieMontgome16
To see where I began this journey:
http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
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