Back on Track
I realize it has been a while since my last update
and I am sorry. I really didn’t want to update because the news wasn’t happy. I
have let myself down and didn’t want to share that. I don’t want to let my friends
and family down who read this. I have had a rough two weeks. As far as losing
the weight, I am still on the journey. I am still working out. Now could I have
been a lot more proactive this past two weeks in this journey? Yes. I have
slacked off a lot these past two weeks.
I have had a crappy time these past two weeks. I
just am having trouble keeping it together. I have had 8 panic attacks in two
weeks. I am so pissed at myself for having them. [I am having several issues
that are personal and I can’t share due to family reads this blog] The attacks
have gotten so bad that just the thought of leaving my house and going to the
store with my mom sent me into one. It took me two hours to calm down enough to
get in the car. [I am so glad she was late.] I then wasn’t good company for my mom to be around. I couldn’t
deal. I sat in the back seat hoping she didn’t notice I was shaking. [I am so
grateful she didn’t know.] I haven’t been able to leave my house for a walk
either. This makes me even madder at myself because that is part of my exercise
routine.
So it has been a terrible two weeks for me. I was
making such good progress and then this happened. I have no good news to share
but I promised myself I would be honest in this blog no matter what so today I
am biting the bullet and writing and sharing about my failures. It is so hard
to be honest about the failures. But that is all part of embracing all aspects
of myself.I have stood back up and putting myself back on track.
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