A Glooming and Panic Filled Day

A Glooming and Panic Filled Day

Well my day started out ok and then I went to leave my house and it all fall apart. I suddenly couldn’t breathe well. I was shaking all over. I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t walk out of my door. I couldn’t do it. I felt like my house was pushing in around me. All four sides were crushing me. I felt like the roof was coming down on me as well. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t deal with it. I just keep trying to breathe. I finally was able to move and what did I do I went back to bed.

This sucks. I hate this part of me. I do. I mean all I was going to do was go for a walk. I was going to take a small walk and I couldn’t do it. [I am so mad at myself.] I went back to bed and stayed there till about 11 this morning. Then when I tried to get out of bed and just get ready for some friends coming over today I had to just stop because I couldn’t take it. I was so over whelmed. It took me a while to refocus and breathe again.

Today I feel deflated. I’m working on refocusing and starting again. [As I write this my hands shakes and I’m trying not to cry]