When panic sets in

September 9, 2013 7:50a.m.

Well this morning is a rough morning due to hardly any sleep last night. I woke up several times from nightmares. UHHHHHHHHH!! I hate nights like that. No matter what I did I kept having nightmares. So I decided sleep wasn’t going to happen and have just been up. I thought okay I’ll get an early start on to-do list for the day. (You would think simple normal stuff would be ok and easy for me to make a decision about well wrong) I was trying to organize an area of my house that is never organized. I was sorting things and deciding what to keep and what to toss and I couldn’t make a decision. I am now sitting here having a panic attack. URRRRR! I hate when I do this. I know that I am alright and safe yet I feel like someone is choking all the life out me. I can’t stop shaking. I feel like everything is trying to crush me right now. It is just a bad morning. I am forcing myself to write this to try and focus.  Not really working well.

I am trying to focus on the fact that I had a wonderful time this weekend with my sister and the FFN group in Dallas. I meet and talked with a lot of people most of who I didn’t know. I even let people hug me. [I am not a hugger. I am learning that there are some people you just got to let hug you.] I talked in front of people I didn’t know. I sleep at someone’s house I didn’t know. I didn’t have a panic attack but here I sit this morning having one. I was nervous all weekend but never had a panic attack. Yet this morning I am having one. I feel like something is so wrong with this picture with me to let this happen.

Well shaking too tyoe right now. So I will close ansd get off of nhere.