Inspired and Motivated

I have come to realize that writing a blog isn’t always easy. For me it is coming up with things I feel are worth writing about. I wonder if the people who read this blog are tired of hearing about the daily struggle I face to leave my house sometimes or the daily battle to continue on this journey of change and not go off course. This is an ongoing battle for me. I wonder do my readers care that I notice things about myself that can never be seen by anyone else but me. For me, there are a lot of new things happening in my life. However, others might never notice it.

For example I have so much more energy. I am able to do more in my daily life now without giving out and being extremely tired all the time. This is an awesome fact for me. I also have more confidence in myself. This is new to me. In my life there was only one thing I was ever confident about and that is my signing to music. Everything else I felt like I failed at or was terrible at doing. Now I have confidence in me. I’m realizing I can do things. I can do things people have told me I could never do. I can do things people have told me I should never dream about. These are just two things I have noticed about myself.
As dealing with my weight loss I have noticed so much about my body. I have been measuring inches along with the pounds. Well when you were 469 when you started let me tell you there are unfortunately a lot of rolls of fat. These areas can’t always be measured. Then I put my hands by my size and realized they were closer to my side. There wasn’t so much of me sticking out. A few days later I was trying to gather clothes up for a trip I’m being taken on. I really haven’t bought clothes for three years due to my weight and my money. All my clothes are now faded and stitched repaired to their last try. I have been giving clothes over the years that are tight are just plain too small. I have had them in a huge black garbage bag. This garbage bag was a constant reminder of things I would never be able to wear or enjoy. They were a constant reminder of the comments people made when I told them they weren’t big enough. “What do you mean they don’t fit?” “I bought the biggest thing I saw.” “I held it up and it looked huge so I thought you’d be able to wear them.” I hated looking at the bag of clothes. Well my roommate stored it for me in her room. I’m going through the house realizing I only have some faded knit pants and tops that are terrible. I also realized they were too big. They were beyond baggy. I started trying to piece together clothes and was able to use a shirt to cut to make other things work. At least all the holes are now fixed. [They don’t look pretty]
My roommate hollers at me to come and get the bag of clothes out of her room and go through them. I argued with her. I finally did it to shut her up. Well I now have four white polo shirts that fit me. They didn’t a year ago. I’m planning on trying to tie tie two of them because I ruin white colored clothes instantly. I realized that inches do make a difference. The weight might have slowed down but the inches were leaving me.
I wondered if my readers really cared about things like this. Do my readers want to hear about how my upper arms are becoming less flabby? I hope so because this is all I have to write about lately.
I have also been busy writing in my story. I love the writing process but lately I have been really inspired. I have a huge motivation to do more in my story as well. My roommate wants to read this story. She promised if I have it printed up as much as I have done for her she will read it while I’m on my trip. She is willing to help look for grammar mistakes as well. I’m nervous and excited about having her read this. I am re reading what I have written already and adding and even taking away some things. I am also trying to write more new stuff for the story. I have had friends complain because I’m lost in writing this story. They are right. I am inspired about writing it. I have had people complain on Twitter and Facebook that I’m ignoring them. I promise I’m not I’m just really inspired and motivated which, has me extra focused on my story right now.
I promise I’ll try to remember to be more social with people. I’ll try