Posting something every day or even once a week is
proven to be hard. Why? Sometimes there is nothing new to write about.
Sometimes I feel like no one wants to keep hearing- I walked again today-I
worked out again-I lost more weight-Today wasn’t as successful as I wished it
would have liked it to be. (I think you get the point.) Now believe me, I’m
still working towards my goal of becoming healthier and losing weight. That is
a daily focus for me.
So this blog is something I have been working on for
almost a week. I was watching the TV show on TLC “My 600 lb life”. This show
broke my heart because I saw a lot of me in that show. I will not use names of
the people on this show. I have never been close to 600 pounds. However, I have
been close to 500 pounds. When I finally weighed I had already lost some. I
weighed 470. That is a number that hit me just as hard as the people on the
show. When they stepped on a scale and saw that number I understand the shock.
That is how I felt when I saw I weighed 470 pounds. I didn’t like it all! When
the showed how hard it was for the people to move around, I got that too. When
the show how they really didn’t feel like someone important, I got that too.
When the show showed how scared they were about dying I get that now. (Then I
was begging God to die.)
As you know I have a lot in common with that people on
this show. I sat there watching three shows in a row. By the time the third one
came on I was crying. I mean crying. I understand people’s struggle. I know
what is to be Extremely over weight! I understand what it is like to be
addicted to food. I know what it is like to eat your emotions. I got it. I wanted
to put my arms around the people on the show and HUG them. I wanted to let them
know things would be alright. I wanted to let them know they could do this. I
jumped on Facebook and posted:
“I'm watching a program
on TLC My 600 Pound life.
I understand the depression and feelings of self worth and medical that goes into becoming that size. I do.
I was 470 when I began. I know how painful it can be to move around. My heart goes out to this lady. I want to just help her realize how important she is as a human being. I understand that until she realizes that she won't try. My heart is breaking for this woman.”
I understand the depression and feelings of self worth and medical that goes into becoming that size. I do.
I was 470 when I began. I know how painful it can be to move around. My heart goes out to this lady. I want to just help her realize how important she is as a human being. I understand that until she realizes that she won't try. My heart is breaking for this woman.”
I also understand the guts it takes to go
that show. I could never do it. NEVER! Yes I share on this blog but even there
I have the safety that people don’t truly know me. That know the blog. Yes I’m
so truthful with my blog but it is still not as public as on the show. I give
these wonderful people who go on that show a lot of respect for putting
themselves out there and having the guts to make a change.
I also understand how they feel when people
make fun of them. I’ve shared how I have been fun of in the past and even still
to this day. This passed Wednesday I was the city bus. It was packed. There was
standing room only. I was standing. I heard aloud group of people laughing but
I didn’t think nothing of it. Then people got off and there was a sit in front
of them. I sat in it. Then a woman in the group said loudly and laughed “OMG!
Look at her it is like a walking Suburban.” The whole group began to start
cracking joke after joke about me. I found myself hanging my head. Then one of
them said “I bet she could give a whale run for his money. She is huge!” Now I
was MAD! I was PISSED! I was making a fist. I was getting madder by the minute.
I opened my mouth to say something but they got off the bus. I just sat there
and tried to calm down. There were other people near where I was sitting and
yet no one said anything. So yes I get it. I understand what they feel like
when people make fun of them.
One of the people I was watched on the show
was being be little’d by someone in their 60’s. People around agreed. Even the
ones who didn’t laugh did nothing to help. I was crying for that person. I
knew.
I think people often see someone of an
extreme size as anything but a human being. That is a sad truth. I know that because
I face it every day. I apply for jobs and get told I don’t think you can keep
up. Or I get the total look of disgust as the eyes go up and down my body. I
get the looks and laughs in the store. I get the comments. And no one cares. No
one sees anything wrong with this. I’m here to say STOP IT! We’re human beings.
We are people. Yes we’ve allowed ourselves to get so big we don’t know where to
begin. Yes we have allowed ourselves to get so caught up in depression and our
health issues that we don’t know what to do. Please give us some respect. Treat
us like people. Give us a smile not a laugh. Give us encouragement not a put
down. You’d be surprised what one small bit of love, kindness and compassion
can do. If you don’t believe me read where I began this journey. My sisters act
of love helped start it. http://mmbreakingfree.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-story-so-far.html
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